Looking 4 Adventures

Stockholm, a Ship, and a Solo Mission

Two years ago, I went to visit my friend Linn in Sweden for the first time. I was a little nervous. However, I was mostly excited. I turned my arrival and departure into a cheeky little layover in Stockholm. Ever since I first visited Stockholm, I had been dreaming of going back to the Vasa Museum. I love that place. It’s a literal massive, beautiful ship displayed in an air-conditioned room with exactly the right temperature and humidity to keep it perfectly preserved. There’s also a fascinating exhibition surrounding it about seafaring, marine life, sailing, and daily life in the 1600s. So, it literally is my favorite museum in the world (at least so far; you never know!)

This was my goal! Back when I was a student, I had very little time and I wanted to spend at least 4 hours in this glorious place. Traveling alone comes with a whole lot of challenges, but also with a ton of independence and ease. Let’s dive into this!

ND Travel Rule #1: Know Before You Go

Typically, I need to research a little more on the “How do I get from A to B” before I arrive at a place. I already need to do this when I am traveling in a team of two. But when I am on my own, I cannot rely on a hubby brain to think with me. So, I need to have it figured out before I start the journey.

Let me explain this with an example: As public transport is a quite comfortable way of traveling for me, this should not be too complicated. But the reality is that it fully depends on the city. You can have different transport cards. They can be charged in different ways. You might be able to pay with debit card when entering or leaving the bus / train / metro. I need to know how this works, though, because otherwise, my brain just short-circuits. Or, at least, I don’t know what to do when I am there.

The pressure is all on me. In the end, I will need to lead the conversations. All of them! I will need to prepare for what to say when checking in. That means I need scripts. I need to know what to do when my hand luggage has a “find” through the machine without freaking out. I need to check into the lounge, encounter flight attendants (if they forget my special meal) and, in some cases, go through immigration. This can be stressful.

There is no buffer between me and the world. And typically, when I am traveling with hubby, the buffer is always with me. Often, the presence is already enough to take away some stress. If I do my research properly, handling everything myself is usually manageable. It is not as bad as it seems when travel anxiety rises.

But when all the logistical hurdles are mastered, the advantages of solo travels come in.

Supermarket Sandwiches and Ultimate Freedom

If you are thriving on pattern recognition, this will become easier with time. It is pretty much the same with every single encounter during travels. They follow patterns, so recognizing them might actually give you a bit of an edge.

Eating in restaurants on your own might still be a challenge sometimes. I only learned how to feel less awkward about this when I was staying in Jerusalem for two weeks. Someone back then told me that people actually do not really pay attention to you. Or at least, they are doing it much less than you might think.

What I find really helpful is the following: I typically channel Rory Gilmore of Gilmore Girls and always have a book with me. I started doing that when I was still collecting character traits from movie or TV show characters. This is something I kept, though. So, now, when I am eating on my own in a restaurant I have a book with me. I also bring a journal, a pen, and my Loop earplugs in case it gets loud. Sometimes I just scroll on my phone or chat with a friend — whatever feels most grounding.

At the start, this might still make you uncomfortable. It is not shameful to go there, eat quickly and leave again. You can also order things to your hotel room, or just take room service. By now, I actually like being able to decide what I want to eat and how much I want to go out of my way to find a place I like. Sometimes, the act of traveling is already overstimulating, so if I don’t want to, I don’t have to go out.

While I was in Stockholm, I walked around a little bit on the Friday afternoon. The sun was already low and the afternoon light was beautiful. I just loved being able to decide to dwell a little and change course and take a detour. This was one of the moments that made me realize that sometimes it is a good thing to enjoy this independence and freedom.

Hubby: My Buffer, My Food Planner, My Courage

I am, of course, not only relying on hubby for the buffer zone between me and people. Although this is an advantage, there are other things that make travel with a partner a beautiful shared experience.

While I might moan about the fact a lot, that he always wants to go to restaurants, he also often organizes it. I have had some amazing food experiences since we are traveling together that I would not have otherwise. Usually, he handles the reservations and I often end up having exquisite meals each day of our trip. This also gives us the opportunity to have in-depth discussions over a meal. My favorite memories have been talks over a shared dinner when we got lost in various topics or even just talked about what we wanted to do the next day.

In a lot of cases, through him, I found the courage to do things I would typically not do. When we were in Taiwan on our first day in Kaohsiung, we somehow landed ourselves in a parade from one temple to the others. I still do not know what was happening there. The vibe was exceptional and, while it was loud, it was also fun. If I had been on my own, I probably would have stayed away from it.