Why having a life goal drives me to seeking discomfort
People often assume comfort is the opposite of risk, but what if discomfort is just your default mode? This is how my life goal of visiting every country drives me into situations most would avoid… and why I still refuse a moto taxi.
For me, the ultimate goal is to travel to every country this world has to offer. I’m curious beyond fault. I’ve been told my special interest is learning, so that’s what I’m doing. I’m learning about cultures, about history, about people and what makes them different, but also what makes them all the same.
But traveling to every country literally means every country without exception. So, it’s not a surprise that I’ve been to weird places. Some might say I’ve been to risky or dangerous places.
My risk aversion/ risk taking preferences are blowing my own mind, but let’s explore this a little.
The Moto Taxi Dilemma
When I was living in Rwanda, not even a chasing lion would have gotten me on the back of a moto taxi. I probably would have rather cuddled that kitty than get myself on a moto cycle. I found this thought the most uncomfortable thing on earth. By now, I know why.
First of all, this is immediate danger. If the moto cyclist makes one simple stupid mistake, I land with my face on the asphalt, break some bones, or, in the worst case scenario, might die.
Do I trust Rwandan moto cyclists to not make mistakes? Nope, not when I see them driving every day and not after I had friends involved in moto accidents. It was the immediate danger that did it for me.
Secondly, the discomfort of being so close to a stranger was not acceptable to me. I do hug family and friends. I like tight and warm hugs and enjoy keeping them longer than the conventional few seconds. A stranger in front of me, so closely, nope! That’s beyond my comfort zone.
And thirdly, I had no idea how to conduct this business. I didn’t know if I needed to haggle, if I could communicate with the driver and what I had to do at the end. So, the sheer discomfort of trying to awkwardly conduct business was the final push to make me shy away from this whole experience.
Was this making life more difficult? Yes! Did i despise being dependent on others? Also, yes! Did that convince me to try? Absolutely not!
When Danger Feels More Familiar Than a Raised Voice
Traveling to Central African Republic or Libya is also dangerous, but the danger is not as immediate. It’s more abstract. Sure, things can go wrong, but in my mind, I can kind of see that as odds that play a little more in my favour. I can account for it! I know it exists, but what are the odds that something is happening at the exact moment when I am at this location.
In all the time I have been traveling, this happened exactly once. But of course, I am aware that it only has to go really wrong one time, even if all the other times, things go alright.
Nonetheless, the curiosity, the adrenaline, and adventure seeking part of me wins in this internal discussion every single time.
I’m very much relying on comfort and routines in my daily life. What makes me seeking such disorganized and threatening locations in the first place? In essence, it comes down to my general approach to discomfort. I once told a therapist that I feel uncomfortable almost every single day of my life. Hence, seeking out places like Central African Republic is not much of a difference for me compared to a normal day in office.
Of course, consciously I know that I am under a higher threat in Bangui than I am in my office in Phnom Penh. But my nervous system does not see much of a difference between my line manager raising her voice because she’s frustrated compared to a couple of random people running around town with AK47s. At least in Bangui, I’m not the direct target of them.
Risk vs. Reward: Dzanga-Sangha and Roman Ruins
In Bangui, I have the counterargument that I can go to Dzangha-Sangha National Park from there. There’s a clearing with the highest density of forest elephant population in the world. You can watch a silver back gorilla from up close there. If that’s not what makes it worth it, I don’t know what is!
We were getting in trouble in Libya. Despite this, I can still say that I saw a Roman amphitheatre and ruins. They were so gorgeous that the pictures still linger in the back of my head.
Maybe it is a risk / reward thing. What would be a reward for taking a moto taxi? 30 minutes less planning and a bumpy ride on a possibly deadly machine? Thank you, but no, thank you! What’s my reward for going to Libya or to Central African Republic? A whole lot of amazing memories, an SD card full of pictures, and a very abstract risk of being unlucky to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. You only need to ask yourself if it is worth it!
So no, I still won’t take a moto taxi. But would I go to Mogadishu? Probably. Because in the end, it’s not about being reckless. It’s about choosing which discomforts are worth the reward.
Looking 4 Adventures 
Leave a comment